HilaryD
07-29-2005, 01:09 PM
Code of Conduct
A teen film critic issues his strict rules for considerate behavior
during a movie
By Frank Paiva
Frank Paiva has been writing about movies since he was 12. He will
attend New York University as a freshman in the fall.
Most people think going to the movies involves just buying a ticket,
eating some popcorn, and sitting in the dark to watch a show. If
only things were that simple. There are actually a huge number of
unwritten social rules surrounding moviegoing that cover everything
from smuggling outside food into the theater to talking during
previews. The problem is that not everyone follows these rules,
making the already expensive night out at the multiplex emotionally,
in addition to financially, draining. And we're not talking about
the content on the screen.
Here are my suggestions for basic behavior that should be expected
from anyone attending a movie. It's easily split into four basic
sections for convenience: Talking, Food, Children and Miscellaneous
Problems. Follow them -- or meet the wrath of your fellow moviegoers.
Talking
My Golden Rule: The only time talking is permitted during a film
screening is at a midnight showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture
Show," because everyone's seen the movie a million times already and
most people are too drunk/crazy to control themselves. To elaborate:
- Annoying pre-film ads and trailers are in "no talking" territory
in addition to the feature itself. While this may sound harsh,
consider that anyone who's spent the first 20 minutes of their
theater experience talking isn't likely to stop once a Dreamworks or
Warner Bros. logo comes on the screen.
- If you've seen the movie before, shut up. I don't care about your
opinion. For that matter, if you haven't seen the movie, I don't
care what your mother or your roommate thought of it either.
- The moment the final credits begin to roll is not the time for you
to begin discussing your opinion of the movie.
Code of Conduct
(...Story Continued from Previous Page)
Wait at least until you're outside the auditorium.
- Never ever discuss the endings to other movies before the
screening. I can't tell you how often this happens.
- Do not discuss the film you just saw in between stalls in the
bathroom. It could spoil it for someone headed into an upcoming
screening; plus no film is important enough to be loudly discussed
in a public restroom.
- If there are only a few people in the theater, talk very quietly.
Talking loudly will force other people to eavesdrop on your
conversation in lieu of listening to that horrible theater radio
network music.
Food
My Golden Rule: If it smells like anything or is larger than a
chicken, you don't need to bring it into the movie with you.
- If you bring soda from home, at least have the decency to open it
before the movie starts. I'm tired of the opening-cans chorus that
occurs in the first minute of a movie, caused by sneaky people
trying to cheat the system.
- If your food from home is wrapped in noisy bags or wrappers,
remove it while there's still light available and the noise won't
matter. This includes cough drops.
- If you drop a food item on the floor, don't eat it. That floor is
disgusting. And don't try to get it back during the screening. It
really doesn't matter that much.
- Napkins are key to keeping your seat and armrests from getting
greasy. Be kind to the people who will come after you.
Children
My Golden Rule: If the film doesn't feature talking animals or
Hilary Duff, then it's probably not appropriate for children. Bad
parenting is rampant at today's multiplex. Just remember that:
- Saying you couldn't find a babysitter and going to the movies
anyway is not an excuse. You can rent a movie and watch it at home
if you're really so concerned about the safety of your child.
- If the film starts after 7, it's not OK to bring your kids. I am
shocked by the recent surge of children I'm seeing at movies
beginning at 10 or 11 at night.
- Your child's comments during the film are not amusing. I don't
care if you find them cute. Children are subject to the same non-
talking rules as everyone else. All children. Not just everyone
else's child. Your child is not that special.
- Bringing children to R-rated movies isn't just irresponsible, it's
wrong. There's a reason films get these ratings. It's because these
films contain things children shouldn't be exposed to or that they
can't understand. I'll never forget seeing the Holocaust drama "The
Pianist" and having the little boy in front of me remark two-thirds
of the way into the movie, "Mommy, I don't understand why he's
hiding." Just don't do it.
Miscellaneous Problems
My Golden Rule: Watch out for the elderly. While this may sound
ageist, I am consistently amazed by how many of my problems at the
multiplex have nothing to do with the stereotypical rowdy teenager
or antic child. Age may make you wiser, but that still doesn't mean
I care about anything you have to say until after we leave the
auditorium. Some other rules (for all ages):
- If you know the song being played in a movie, don't you dare sing
along to it. When did this become OK? This includes humming.
- If you're 20 or 25 minutes late for a movie's starting time and go
anyway: Shame on you. You irresponsible people are the reason I'm
glad movie tickets prices are so high. It's as if you're being fined
for your stupidity and for being inconsiderate. I've never
understood why people will pay good money to see 70 minutes of a 90-
minute movie.
- Cell phones should always be off. Not on a low ring volume. Not on
vibrate. It seems so simple, but apparently it's not. I don't care
if you're a doctor on call. If you're on call, you can watch a movie
at home.
- If a movie is playing at a second-run theater, that doesn't make
it OK to ignore any of these rules. Just because tickets were only
$3 or $4.50 doesn't mean we need to lose our respect for each other.
- If you're sick, don't go to the movies. I'm sitting too close to
you.
Until next time, enjoy and behave yourself at the movies.
A teen film critic issues his strict rules for considerate behavior
during a movie
By Frank Paiva
Frank Paiva has been writing about movies since he was 12. He will
attend New York University as a freshman in the fall.
Most people think going to the movies involves just buying a ticket,
eating some popcorn, and sitting in the dark to watch a show. If
only things were that simple. There are actually a huge number of
unwritten social rules surrounding moviegoing that cover everything
from smuggling outside food into the theater to talking during
previews. The problem is that not everyone follows these rules,
making the already expensive night out at the multiplex emotionally,
in addition to financially, draining. And we're not talking about
the content on the screen.
Here are my suggestions for basic behavior that should be expected
from anyone attending a movie. It's easily split into four basic
sections for convenience: Talking, Food, Children and Miscellaneous
Problems. Follow them -- or meet the wrath of your fellow moviegoers.
Talking
My Golden Rule: The only time talking is permitted during a film
screening is at a midnight showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture
Show," because everyone's seen the movie a million times already and
most people are too drunk/crazy to control themselves. To elaborate:
- Annoying pre-film ads and trailers are in "no talking" territory
in addition to the feature itself. While this may sound harsh,
consider that anyone who's spent the first 20 minutes of their
theater experience talking isn't likely to stop once a Dreamworks or
Warner Bros. logo comes on the screen.
- If you've seen the movie before, shut up. I don't care about your
opinion. For that matter, if you haven't seen the movie, I don't
care what your mother or your roommate thought of it either.
- The moment the final credits begin to roll is not the time for you
to begin discussing your opinion of the movie.
Code of Conduct
(...Story Continued from Previous Page)
Wait at least until you're outside the auditorium.
- Never ever discuss the endings to other movies before the
screening. I can't tell you how often this happens.
- Do not discuss the film you just saw in between stalls in the
bathroom. It could spoil it for someone headed into an upcoming
screening; plus no film is important enough to be loudly discussed
in a public restroom.
- If there are only a few people in the theater, talk very quietly.
Talking loudly will force other people to eavesdrop on your
conversation in lieu of listening to that horrible theater radio
network music.
Food
My Golden Rule: If it smells like anything or is larger than a
chicken, you don't need to bring it into the movie with you.
- If you bring soda from home, at least have the decency to open it
before the movie starts. I'm tired of the opening-cans chorus that
occurs in the first minute of a movie, caused by sneaky people
trying to cheat the system.
- If your food from home is wrapped in noisy bags or wrappers,
remove it while there's still light available and the noise won't
matter. This includes cough drops.
- If you drop a food item on the floor, don't eat it. That floor is
disgusting. And don't try to get it back during the screening. It
really doesn't matter that much.
- Napkins are key to keeping your seat and armrests from getting
greasy. Be kind to the people who will come after you.
Children
My Golden Rule: If the film doesn't feature talking animals or
Hilary Duff, then it's probably not appropriate for children. Bad
parenting is rampant at today's multiplex. Just remember that:
- Saying you couldn't find a babysitter and going to the movies
anyway is not an excuse. You can rent a movie and watch it at home
if you're really so concerned about the safety of your child.
- If the film starts after 7, it's not OK to bring your kids. I am
shocked by the recent surge of children I'm seeing at movies
beginning at 10 or 11 at night.
- Your child's comments during the film are not amusing. I don't
care if you find them cute. Children are subject to the same non-
talking rules as everyone else. All children. Not just everyone
else's child. Your child is not that special.
- Bringing children to R-rated movies isn't just irresponsible, it's
wrong. There's a reason films get these ratings. It's because these
films contain things children shouldn't be exposed to or that they
can't understand. I'll never forget seeing the Holocaust drama "The
Pianist" and having the little boy in front of me remark two-thirds
of the way into the movie, "Mommy, I don't understand why he's
hiding." Just don't do it.
Miscellaneous Problems
My Golden Rule: Watch out for the elderly. While this may sound
ageist, I am consistently amazed by how many of my problems at the
multiplex have nothing to do with the stereotypical rowdy teenager
or antic child. Age may make you wiser, but that still doesn't mean
I care about anything you have to say until after we leave the
auditorium. Some other rules (for all ages):
- If you know the song being played in a movie, don't you dare sing
along to it. When did this become OK? This includes humming.
- If you're 20 or 25 minutes late for a movie's starting time and go
anyway: Shame on you. You irresponsible people are the reason I'm
glad movie tickets prices are so high. It's as if you're being fined
for your stupidity and for being inconsiderate. I've never
understood why people will pay good money to see 70 minutes of a 90-
minute movie.
- Cell phones should always be off. Not on a low ring volume. Not on
vibrate. It seems so simple, but apparently it's not. I don't care
if you're a doctor on call. If you're on call, you can watch a movie
at home.
- If a movie is playing at a second-run theater, that doesn't make
it OK to ignore any of these rules. Just because tickets were only
$3 or $4.50 doesn't mean we need to lose our respect for each other.
- If you're sick, don't go to the movies. I'm sitting too close to
you.
Until next time, enjoy and behave yourself at the movies.